Ever since my English class started we been doing free writes for 5 minutes every now and then.. Here’s what I got so far
January 25, 2012 (Day 1)
“I’m dissapointed with myself for the poor performance in yesterdays match. I really miss my BGF Ashley. We haven’t talked in over 2 weeks. I miss her alot, I wonder if the feeling is mutual. We walk pass each other in the halls like we’re invisible to each other. I wonder if I should text her or something. Last time I did she didn’t reply so is she okay with me not being apart of her life? Maybe I didn’t mean anything to her in the first place if it was that easy for her to just drop me. I love her though, I really do. I wonder if she still has the bear and card I gave her for her birthday. The only thing I have to remember her is our Drivers Ed Notes from back in May 2010 , her softball visor, and the the chapstick we shared.”
January 27, 2012
“Moving on sucks but it’s apart of life. I been trying to make this work since May of 2010. Fuck it, that’s what I gotta tell myself. Conference tournament is coming up and I’ve got to be mentally and physically prepared. I’ve been a little off lately in my matches and I’ve got to fix that ASAP. There’s still many years left in my life and if things don’t work out now maybe they will later. Wait, I’m not even gonna get my hopes up. Whatever happens, happens. I still can’t it was that easy for her to let go of me. Makes me feel shitty, and that feeling sucks.”
January 31, 2012
“Haven’t really been thinking about the situation as much but the feelings are still there. I mean, it is what it is.. I can’t dedicate all of my time trying to get someone to talk to me. I got a wrestling tournament this weekend. A big one, it’s our conference tournament. Not sure how I’m gonna do when I’m 10 pounds underweight now that Larry’s back, but there isn’t any excuses. The person who has the best technique and most heart will win in the end. Other then that I guess Ima go back to having my options open instead of tryna focus on a girl that doesn’t even want to talk to me.”
February 2, 2012
“Soo.. we started talking again. She’s been texting me for the past 2 days, it’s kinda weird but I don’t even know what to say about it really. It’s just not the same anymore. I guess this is how it should’ve been in the first place. No more saying “I love you” calling her beautiful.. etc. I’ve been kinda restless these past few days. Practice has really been killing me. I’m not just mentally fit anymore. I’ve been taking naps and waking up at night. Then I’ll be up almost all night trying to sleep. It sucks, especially with this tournament coming up. I guess I’ll keep talking to Ash though to see where it takes us this time. I love her, and her company, but maybe it might be better for the both of us if we just don’t talk to each other.”
February 7
“Things are whatever now. Honestly, the feelings are started to fade, but they always come back. Every time I tell myself I can live without her and then I see her at school it all just comes back. I can deal with it though. I can live without her, but I don’t want to. She got mad over something stupid yesterday. I wonder if she’s gonna talk to me, but if she doesn’t it whatever. I placed 3rd in conference and regionals are coming up. I got more important things to focus on. It just feels like I have horrible luck with girls. Most of the side chicks aint even tryna talk to me anymore. Oh well, that’s why their hoes. I don’t love em’ and I don’t chase em.”
February 10
“Well, I think I’m doing a better job getting over her. I skipped school yesterday because I didn’t feel like coming. I’m kinda hungry. I want a cheesy cheddar burger and a large fry from Wendys. I wanna get outta school already, I think Ima go to the LJ today. I think the Weavers don’t like me anymore. Kayla is hot for a freshman. I would break her tho. I’m hungry af. I think I might play baseball this year. I’m ready for wrestling to be over. This semester is going by so slow -_-. I feel like kissing someone right now.”
